Assignment: write a comparison of two characters from The Lord of the Flies by William S. Golding and The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier. In this essay, choose three areas of comparison in which you can write about and prove that these two characters are similar. Look to your notes for the areas of comparison we have spoken about in class. Be sure that your essay includes the following:
Introduction, Body, Conclusion
Three parts of a body that details the three areas of comparison
A Thesis Statement at the end of the Introduction
Analysis in place of Summary
Topic Sentences at the top of each paragraph
Evidence from the text to support what you say in your argument
There are a number of resources on this page to help you write any comparison essay. They are not specific to the texts we are studying and talking about in class, but that does not mean you can't use them to write your essay.
For instance, this graphic organizer will help you organize your ideas into a paper. Give it a try.
Here is a checklist I used in the past. It refers to Writers Inc, which we no longer use, but the checklist will remind you of some important elements of the comparison essay that you don't want to forget. You might look it over.
At the bottom of this web page is the assessment rubric I will use when I score your papers. That will serve you as another checklist, something to help you finish the writing.
Here is some additional information that your book provides to help you write this essay.
Please type your essay, double spaced, in Times New Roman font, size 12. See the scoring rubric below for information on how I will assess your work.
Additional Information
Below you will find additional helpful resources. Use them if you like, but you have what you need to write your comparison right now. Good luck!
Another Graphic Organizer
In the writing center, use Inspiration to create our next organizer. Once you are running the software, from the "File" menu, choose "Template," then "Language Arts," and finally "comparison Essay." It looks something like this:
Character Study
Adapt that template so that you can talk about the characters from the stories. I would like you to label his/her traits and then add an two additional bubbles that give the evidence of this belief. Yes, that means you are going to be looking for quotes and passages that support what you say. If you get stuck, think about what we talked about in class. Your areas of comparison include things like Personality (and what Freud said about it), Character Growth, Traits, Conflict, Theme (such as "loss of innocence"), etc.
Character Comparison
This graphic organizer helps you collect all of the information for the body of your essay. Your intro. and conclusion we will talk about in class, but as you look at this graphic you have created, you should be able to see the outline of the essay you wish to write.
You will want to organize your essay with an introduction (Writers Inc 55), body (W.Inc 56), and conclusion (W.Inc. 58) using one of the two methods below. A thesis statement (W.Inc 51) at the end of the introduction will be a primary consideration of the essay, so you will want to spend some time constructing it. Remember, it might not come right away, so be patient (but always have a list of working thesisstatements in mind as you are writing the rest of your essay).
Further, as you are linking point to point, idea to idea, you will want to use transition words. You might check out Writers Inc 114-115 for some good ones. Finally, when it comes to supporting your contentions with quotes from the story (required, at least four), you will want to use parenthetical notation to cite the source (author # for Duncan, and for Shakespeare, just use the Act, Scene, and Line numbers: I.iii.295-307). We are using the MLA format, available for your perusal in Writers Inc or at the Purdue O.W.L.
Here are the two methods of comparison I want you to consider in constructing your argument.
1. The Half and Half Method of Comparison
(Effective, but the less sophisticated method of the two)
I. Introduction
A. sets up the comparison (apples & oranges)
B. include thesis statement "Although the phrase, 'comparing apples to oranges' implies the comparison of things that are not alike, these two pieces of fruit share many similarities."
II. Subject 1 (apples)
A. Characteristic 1 -fruit with seeds
B. Characteristic 2 -has a skin
C. Characteristic 3 -grows on trees
D. Characteristic 4 -sweet and juicy
III. Subject 2 (oranges)
A. Characteristic 1 -fruit with seeds
B. Characteristic 2 -has a skin
C. Characteristic 3 -grows on trees
D. Characteristic 4 -sweet and juicy
IV. Conclusion (apples and oranges)
A. Reiterate thesis "Therefore, the notable similarities exist between these two fruits.”
A. Summarize main points of evidence
B. Conclude Essay
2. The Characteristic Method of Comparison(Definitely more effective than the half and
half in most cases; it allows you to compare your two subjects more closely, and therefore, effectively.)
I. Introduction
.....A. sets up the comparison
.....B. include thesis statement
II. Characteristic 1 -fruit with seeds
.....A. Subject 1 -apples
.....B. Subject 2 -oranges
III. Characteristic 2 -has a skin
.....A. Subject 1 -apples
.....B. Subject 2 -oranges
IV. Characteristic 3 -grows on trees
.....A. Subject 1 apples
.....B. Subject 2 -oranges
V. Conclusion
.....A. Reiterate thesis
.....B. Summarize main points (seeds, skin, and trees)
.....C. Conclude essay
About Your Introduction and Conclusion
These parts of your essay are crucial. In your introduction, you want to put your best foot forward. In your conclusion, you want to make sure that you have done all that you can do to convince your reader. Here are a couple of images that I would like you to read as we discuss introductions and conclusions. I snapped them out of a Writers Inc book, and I have always thought that they were pretty good advice.
Assessment Rubric
Title:_ Author:Pd:_
IDEAS AND CONTENT (Development)
5 This paper is clear and focused. It holds the reader's attention. Relevant anecdotes and details enrich the central theme. A. Topic is narrow & manageable. There is no plot summary. B. Relevant, telling, quality details give reader important information that goes beyond obvious or predictable. C. Reasonably accurate details are present to support the main ideas. D. The writer seems to be writing from knowledge or experience; the ideas are fresh and original. E. The reader’s questions are anticipated and answered. F. Insight—understanding of life & what is significant—is an indicator of high level performance, though not required. G. Support—passages/quotes from text are used (and cited) to support argument.
3 The writer is beginning to define the topic, even though development is still basic or general. A. The topic is fairly broad; however, you can see where the writer is headed. May be some plot summary. B. Support is attempted, but doesn't go far enough yet in fleshing out the key issues or story line. C. Ideas reasonably clear, though they may not be detailed, personalized, accurate, or expanded enough to show in-depth understanding or a strong sense of purpose. D. Writer seems to draw on knowledge/experience, but has difficulty going from general observations to specifics. E. The reader is left with questions. More information is needed to "fill in the blanks." F. Writer generally stays on the topic but does not develop clear theme. Writer has not yet focused topic past the obvious. G. Support—a less than adequate # of quotes from text used (and cited) to support argument.
1 As yet, the paper has no clear sense of purpose or central theme. To extract meaning from the text, the reader must make inferences based on sketchy or missing details. The writing reflects more than one of these problems: A. The writer is still in search of a topic; there may be confusion about main idea; there is a great deal of plot summary. B. Information is limited or unclear or the length is not adequate for development. C. The idea is a simple restatement of the topic or an answer to the question with little or no attention to detail. D. The writer has not begun to define the topic in a meaningful, personal way. E. Everything seems as important as everything else; the reader has a hard time sifting out what is important. F. The text may be repetitious, or may read like a collection of disconnected, random thoughts with no discernable point. G. Support—passages/quotes from text are not used (or cited) to support argument
ORGANIZATION
5 The organization enhances and showcases the central idea or theme. The order, structure, or presentation of information is compelling and moves the reader through the text. A. A thesis statement outlining the main argument of the essay occurs at the end of the introduction. B. An inviting introduction draws reader in; a satisfying conclusion leaves reader with sense of closure & resolution. C. Thoughtful transitions clearly show how ideas connect. D. Details seem to fit where they're placed; sequencing is logical and effective. E. Pacing is well controlled; writer knows when to slow down & elaborate, and when to pick up the pace and move on. F. The title, is original and captures the central theme of the piece. G. Organization flows so smoothly the reader hardly thinks about it; structure suits purpose and audience.
3 The organizational structure is strong enough to move the reader through the text without too much confusion. A. Thesis statement is weak or not well-developed, does not explain argument of the essay. B. The paper has a recognizable introduction, thesis, and conclusion. The introduction may not create a strong sense of anticipation; the thesis may be a bit general yet; the conclusion may not tie up all loose ends. C. Transitions often work well; at other times, connections between ideas are fuzzy. D. Sequencing shows some logic, but not under control enough that it consistently supports the ideas. In fact, sometimes it is so predictable and rehearsed that the structure takes attention away from the content. E. Pacing is fairly well controlled, though the writer sometimes lunges ahead too quickly or spends too much time on details that do not matter. F. A title (if desired) is present, although it may be uninspired or an obvious restatement of the prompt or topic. G. Organization sometimes supports the main point; at other times, reader feels urge to slip in a transition or move things around.
1 The writing lacks a clear sense of direction. Ideas, details, or events seem strung together in a loose or random fashion; there is no identifiable internal structure. The writing reflects more than one of these problems: A. There is no thesis statement outlining the main argument of the paper. B. There is no real opening to set up what follows, no real conclusion to wrap things up. C. Connections between ideas are confusing or not even present. D. Sequencing needs work, argument is fragmentary and there is no clear thread of argument. E. Pacing feels awkward; the writer slows to a crawl when the reader wants to get on with it, and vice versa. F. No title is present (if requested), or if present, does not match well with the content. G. Problems with organization make it hard for the reader to get a grip on the main point or story line.
(Not needed for the first paper of the semester.)
VOICE
5 The writer speaks directly to the reader in a way that is individual, compelling and engaging. The writer crafts the writing with an awareness and respect for the audience and the purpose for writing. A. The tone of the writing adds interest to the message and is appropriate for the purpose and audience. B. The reader feels a strong interaction with the writer, sensing the person behind the words. C. The writer takes a risk by revealing who he or she is consistently throughout the piece. D. Expository or persuasive writing reflects a strong commitment to the topic by showing why
the reader needs to know this and why he or she should care. E. Essay writing is honest, personal, engaging & makes you think about & react to author’s ideas and point of view.
3 The writer seems sincere, but not fully engaged or involved. The result is pleasant or even personable, but not compelling. A. The writer seems aware of an audience but discards personal insights in favor of obvious generalities. B. The writing communicates in an earnest, pleasing, yet safe manner. C. Only one or two moments here or there intrigue, delight, or move the reader. These places may emerge strongly for a line or two, but quickly fade away. D. Expository or persuasive writing lacks consistent engagement with the topic to build credibility. E. Essay writing is reasonably sincere, but doesn’t reflect unique or individual perspective on the topic.
1 The writer seems indifferent, uninvolved, or distanced from the topic and/or the audience. As a result, the paper reflects more than one of the following problems: A. The writer is not concerned with the audience. The writer’s style is a complete mismatch for the intended reader or the writing is so short that little is accomplished beyond introducing the topic. B. The writer speaks in a kind of monotone that flattens all potential highs or lows of the message. C. The writing is humdrum and “risk-free.” D. The writing is lifeless or mechanical; depending on the topic, it may be overly technical or jargonistic. E. The development of the topic is so limited that no point of view is present.
WORD CHOICE
5 Words convey the intended message in a precise, interesting, and natural way. The words are powerful and engaging. A. Words are specific and accurate; it is easy to understand just what the writer means. B. The words and phrases create pictures and linger in your mind. C. The language is natural and never overdone; both words and phrases are individual and effective. D. (Several) Striking words and phrases often catch the reader's eye—and linger in the reader's mind. E. Lively verbs energize the writing. Precise nouns and modifiers add depth and specificity. F. Precision is obvious. The writer has taken care to put just the right word or phrase in just the right spot.
3 Language is functional, even if it lacks much energy. Is easy to figure out writer's meaning on a genera level. A. Words are adequate and correct in a general sense; they simply lack much flair and originality. B. Familiar words and phrases communicate, but rarely capture reader's imagination. (Regular use of cliché.) C. Attempts at colorful language show willingness to stretch & grow, but sometimes go too far (thesaurus overload!). D. The writing is marked by passive verbs, everyday nouns and adjectives, and lack of interesting adverbs. E. The words are only occasionally refined; it’s more often, “the first thing that popped into my mind.” F. The words and phrases are functional—with only a moment or two of sparkle.
1 Writer struggles with limited vocabulary, searching for words to convey meaning. Writing reflects this problem: A. Language is vague (e.g., It was a fun time, She was neat, We did lots of stuff) that only a limited message comes through. B. Words are used incorrectly, making the message secondary to the misfires with the words. C. Limited vocabulary and/or frequent misuse of parts of speech impair understanding. D. Jargon or clichés distract or mislead. Persistent redundancy distracts the reader. E. Problems with language leave reader confused. The words just don’t work in this piece.
Peer Response
If you are not able to join the class in using the Dedalus software for commenting on a peer's paper, then please use the form below to complete the assignment. Be sure to offer plenty of praise, ask necessary questions, and offer constructive advice you think will help them improve their essay. Thanks in advance for your work here.~km
English 10 Peer Response Form
Your Names: Author & Editor
The Two Stories Examined in this Essay (list the titles):
Did they name the stories and their authors in the Introduction of their paper? _(y/n)
The Essay's Title: Genre:_Expository Essay(Informative or Persuasive?)
Thesis Statement: “__[please write it here. yes, on your paper.]__.” Comments about thesis: ....Does it have an occasion and a position? In other words, does it have one subject and an opinion on that subject?
About your piece, I really liked… (name 3 things)
I have three (or more) questions about your work. They are…
Writing the Comparison Essay
Assignment: write a comparison of two characters from The Lord of the Flies by William S. Golding and The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier. In this essay, choose three areas of comparison in which you can write about and prove that these two characters are similar. Look to your notes for the areas of comparison we have spoken about in class. Be sure that your essay includes the following:There are a number of resources on this page to help you write any comparison essay. They are not specific to the texts we are studying and talking about in class, but that does not mean you can't use them to write your essay.
For instance, this graphic organizer will help you organize your ideas into a paper. Give it a try.
Here is a checklist I used in the past. It refers to Writers Inc, which we no longer use, but the checklist will remind you of some important elements of the comparison essay that you don't want to forget. You might look it over.
At the bottom of this web page is the assessment rubric I will use when I score your papers. That will serve you as another checklist, something to help you finish the writing.
Here is some additional information that your book provides to help you write this essay.
Please type your essay, double spaced, in Times New Roman font, size 12. See the scoring rubric below for information on how I will assess your work.
Additional Information
Below you will find additional helpful resources. Use them if you like, but you have what you need to write your comparison right now. Good luck!Another Graphic Organizer
In the writing center, use Inspiration to create our next organizer. Once you are running the software, from the "File" menu, choose "Template," then "Language Arts," and finally "comparison Essay." It looks something like this:
Character Study
Adapt that template so that you can talk about the characters from the stories. I would like you to label his/her traits and then add an two additional bubbles that give the evidence of this belief. Yes, that means you are going to be looking for quotes and passages that support what you say. If you get stuck, think about what we talked about in class. Your areas of comparison include things like Personality (and what Freud said about it), Character Growth, Traits, Conflict, Theme (such as "loss of innocence"), etc.Character Comparison
This graphic organizer helps you collect all of the information for the body of your essay. Your intro. and conclusion we will talk about in class, but as you look at this graphic you have created, you should be able to see the outline of the essay you wish to write.You will want to organize your essay with an introduction (Writers Inc 55), body (W.Inc 56), and conclusion (W.Inc. 58) using one of the two methods below. A thesis statement (W.Inc 51) at the end of the introduction will be a primary consideration of the essay, so you will want to spend some time constructing it. Remember, it might not come right away, so be patient (but always have a list of working thesis statements in mind as you are writing the rest of your essay).
Further, as you are linking point to point, idea to idea, you will want to use transition words. You might check out Writers Inc 114-115 for some good ones. Finally, when it comes to supporting your contentions with quotes from the story (required, at least four), you will want to use parenthetical notation to cite the source (author # for Duncan, and for Shakespeare, just use the Act, Scene, and Line numbers: I.iii.295-307). We are using the MLA format, available for your perusal in Writers Inc or at the Purdue O.W.L.
Here are the two methods of comparison I want you to consider in constructing your argument.
1. The Half and Half Method of Comparison
(Effective, but the less sophisticated method of the two)I. Introduction
A. sets up the comparison (apples & oranges)
B. include thesis statement "Although the phrase, 'comparing apples to oranges' implies the comparison of things that are not alike, these two pieces of fruit share many similarities."
II. Subject 1 (apples)
A. Characteristic 1 -fruit with seeds
B. Characteristic 2 -has a skin
C. Characteristic 3 -grows on trees
D. Characteristic 4 -sweet and juicy
III. Subject 2 (oranges)
A. Characteristic 1 -fruit with seeds
B. Characteristic 2 -has a skin
C. Characteristic 3 -grows on trees
D. Characteristic 4 -sweet and juicy
IV. Conclusion (apples and oranges)
A. Reiterate thesis "Therefore, the notable similarities exist between these two fruits.”
A. Summarize main points of evidence
B. Conclude Essay
2. The Characteristic Method of Comparison (Definitely more effective than the half and
half in most cases; it allows you to compare your two subjects more closely, andtherefore, effectively.)
I. Introduction
.....A. sets up the comparison
.....B. include thesis statement
II. Characteristic 1 -fruit with seeds
.....A. Subject 1 -apples
.....B. Subject 2 -oranges
III. Characteristic 2 -has a skin
.....A. Subject 1 -apples
.....B. Subject 2 -oranges
IV. Characteristic 3 -grows on trees
.....A. Subject 1 apples
.....B. Subject 2 -oranges
V. Conclusion
.....A. Reiterate thesis
.....B. Summarize main points (seeds, skin, and trees)
.....C. Conclude essay
About Your Introduction and Conclusion
These parts of your essay are crucial. In your introduction, you want to put your best foot forward. In your conclusion, you want to make sure that you have done all that you can do to convince your reader. Here are a couple of images that I would like you to read as we discuss introductions and conclusions. I snapped them out of a Writers Inc book, and I have always thought that they were pretty good advice.
Assessment Rubric
Title:_ Author:Pd:_IDEAS AND CONTENT (Development)
5 This paper is clear and focused. It holds the reader's attention. Relevant anecdotes and details enrich the central theme.A. Topic is narrow & manageable. There is no plot summary.
B. Relevant, telling, quality details give reader important information that goes beyond obvious or predictable.
C. Reasonably accurate details are present to support the main ideas.
D. The writer seems to be writing from knowledge or experience; the ideas are fresh and original.
E. The reader’s questions are anticipated and answered.
F. Insight—understanding of life & what is significant—is an indicator of high level performance, though not required.
G. Support—passages/quotes from text are used (and cited) to support argument.
3 The writer is beginning to define the topic, even though development is still basic or general.
A. The topic is fairly broad; however, you can see where the writer is headed. May be some plot summary.
B. Support is attempted, but doesn't go far enough yet in fleshing out the key issues or story line.
C. Ideas reasonably clear, though they may not be detailed, personalized, accurate, or expanded enough to show in-depth understanding or a strong sense of purpose.
D. Writer seems to draw on knowledge/experience, but has difficulty going from general observations to specifics.
E. The reader is left with questions. More information is needed to "fill in the blanks."
F. Writer generally stays on the topic but does not develop clear theme. Writer has not yet focused topic past the obvious.
G. Support—a less than adequate # of quotes from text used (and cited) to support argument.
1 As yet, the paper has no clear sense of purpose or central theme. To extract meaning from the text, the reader must make inferences based on sketchy or missing details. The writing reflects more than one of these problems:
A. The writer is still in search of a topic; there may be confusion about main idea; there is a great deal of plot summary.
B. Information is limited or unclear or the length is not adequate for development.
C. The idea is a simple restatement of the topic or an answer to the question with little or no attention to detail.
D. The writer has not begun to define the topic in a meaningful, personal way.
E. Everything seems as important as everything else; the reader has a hard time sifting out what is important.
F. The text may be repetitious, or may read like a collection of disconnected, random thoughts with no discernable point.
G. Support—passages/quotes from text are not used (or cited) to support argument
ORGANIZATION
5 The organization enhances and showcases the central idea or theme. The order, structure, or presentation of information is compelling and moves the reader through the text.A. A thesis statement outlining the main argument of the essay occurs at the end of the introduction.
B. An inviting introduction draws reader in; a satisfying conclusion leaves reader with sense of closure & resolution.
C. Thoughtful transitions clearly show how ideas connect.
D. Details seem to fit where they're placed; sequencing is logical and effective.
E. Pacing is well controlled; writer knows when to slow down & elaborate, and when to pick up the pace and move on.
F. The title, is original and captures the central theme of the piece.
G. Organization flows so smoothly the reader hardly thinks about it; structure suits purpose and audience.
3 The organizational structure is strong enough to move the reader through the text without too much confusion.
A. Thesis statement is weak or not well-developed, does not explain argument of the essay.
B. The paper has a recognizable introduction, thesis, and conclusion. The introduction may not create a strong sense of anticipation; the thesis may be a bit general yet; the conclusion may not tie up all loose ends.
C. Transitions often work well; at other times, connections between ideas are fuzzy.
D. Sequencing shows some logic, but not under control enough that it consistently supports the ideas. In fact, sometimes it is so predictable and rehearsed that the structure takes attention away from the content.
E. Pacing is fairly well controlled, though the writer sometimes lunges ahead too quickly or spends too much time on details that do not matter.
F. A title (if desired) is present, although it may be uninspired or an obvious restatement of the prompt or topic.
G. Organization sometimes supports the main point; at other times, reader feels urge to slip in a transition or move things around.
1 The writing lacks a clear sense of direction. Ideas, details, or events seem strung together in a loose or random fashion; there is no identifiable internal structure. The writing reflects more than one of these problems:
A. There is no thesis statement outlining the main argument of the paper.
B. There is no real opening to set up what follows, no real conclusion to wrap things up.
C. Connections between ideas are confusing or not even present.
D. Sequencing needs work, argument is fragmentary and there is no clear thread of argument.
E. Pacing feels awkward; the writer slows to a crawl when the reader wants to get on with it, and vice versa.
F. No title is present (if requested), or if present, does not match well with the content.
G. Problems with organization make it hard for the reader to get a grip on the main point or story line.
(Not needed for the first paper of the semester.)VOICE
5 The writer speaks directly to the reader in a way that is individual, compelling and engaging. The writer crafts the writing with an awareness and respect for the audience and the purpose for writing.A. The tone of the writing adds interest to the message and is appropriate for the purpose and audience.
B. The reader feels a strong interaction with the writer, sensing the person behind the words.
C. The writer takes a risk by revealing who he or she is consistently throughout the piece.
D. Expository or persuasive writing reflects a strong commitment to the topic by showing why
the reader needs to know this and why he or she should care.
E. Essay writing is honest, personal, engaging & makes you think about & react to author’s ideas and point of view.
3 The writer seems sincere, but not fully engaged or involved. The result is pleasant or even personable, but not compelling.
A. The writer seems aware of an audience but discards personal insights in favor of obvious generalities.
B. The writing communicates in an earnest, pleasing, yet safe manner.
C. Only one or two moments here or there intrigue, delight, or move the reader. These places may emerge strongly for a line or two, but quickly fade away.
D. Expository or persuasive writing lacks consistent engagement with the topic to build credibility.
E. Essay writing is reasonably sincere, but doesn’t reflect unique or individual perspective on the topic.
1 The writer seems indifferent, uninvolved, or distanced from the topic and/or the audience. As a result, the paper reflects more than one of the following problems:
A. The writer is not concerned with the audience. The writer’s style is a complete mismatch for the intended reader or the writing is so short that little is accomplished beyond introducing the topic.
B. The writer speaks in a kind of monotone that flattens all potential highs or lows of the message.
C. The writing is humdrum and “risk-free.”
D. The writing is lifeless or mechanical; depending on the topic, it may be overly technical or jargonistic.
E. The development of the topic is so limited that no point of view is present.
WORD CHOICE
5 Words convey the intended message in a precise, interesting, and natural way. The words are powerful and engaging.A. Words are specific and accurate; it is easy to understand just what the writer means.
B. The words and phrases create pictures and linger in your mind.
C. The language is natural and never overdone; both words and phrases are individual and effective.
D. (Several) Striking words and phrases often catch the reader's eye—and linger in the reader's mind.
E. Lively verbs energize the writing. Precise nouns and modifiers add depth and specificity.
F. Precision is obvious. The writer has taken care to put just the right word or phrase in just the right spot.
3 Language is functional, even if it lacks much energy. Is easy to figure out writer's meaning on a genera level.
A. Words are adequate and correct in a general sense; they simply lack much flair and originality.
B. Familiar words and phrases communicate, but rarely capture reader's imagination. (Regular use of cliché.)
C. Attempts at colorful language show willingness to stretch & grow, but sometimes go too far (thesaurus overload!).
D. The writing is marked by passive verbs, everyday nouns and adjectives, and lack of interesting adverbs.
E. The words are only occasionally refined; it’s more often, “the first thing that popped into my mind.”
F. The words and phrases are functional—with only a moment or two of sparkle.
1 Writer struggles with limited vocabulary, searching for words to convey meaning. Writing reflects this problem:
A. Language is vague (e.g., It was a fun time, She was neat, We did lots of stuff) that only a limited message comes through.
B. Words are used incorrectly, making the message secondary to the misfires with the words.
C. Limited vocabulary and/or frequent misuse of parts of speech impair understanding.
D. Jargon or clichés distract or mislead. Persistent redundancy distracts the reader.
E. Problems with language leave reader confused. The words just don’t work in this piece.
Peer Response
If you are not able to join the class in using the Dedalus software for commenting on a peer's paper, then please use the form below to complete the assignment. Be sure to offer plenty of praise, ask necessary questions, and offer constructive advice you think will help them improve their essay. Thanks in advance for your work here. ~kmEnglish 10 Peer Response Form
Your Names: Author & EditorThe Two Stories Examined in this Essay (list the titles):
Did they name the stories and their authors in the Introduction of their paper? _(y/n)
The Essay's Title:
Genre:_Expository Essay (Informative or Persuasive?)
Thesis Statement: “__[please write it here. yes, on your paper.]__.”
Comments about thesis:
....Does it have an occasion and a position? In other words, does it have one subject and an opinion on that subject?
About your piece, I really liked… (name 3 things)
I have three (or more) questions about your work. They are…
Some changes I might suggest include…